Patricia Sleebos MDiv, MAR, MAHCMF, BCC, BCPC

A woman went to a well in the hottest part of the day with her one hope. Hope that one day things could change. She had experienced many failed relationships. Her journey to the well that day did not turn out as she had thought. She left there without her water pot, but instead left filled with clarity of mind, spirit, and heart. The Samaritan woman took a leap of faith in the midst of her responsibilities and experienced transformation. If you find yourself down to your last hope…Get to the well! John 4. #lifecoaching #transforminglives

Dr. Leslie Weatherhead has put together a formula that calculates our lifetime based on the hours of a single day. The number of our days can begin to add up quickly when thinking about our life in that way. However, each of us has a deposit of 24 hours each day and we get to decide what we do with it. The Psalmist David declared that our lives typically last three score and 10 or 70 years…though we might live into our 80s or 90s and beyond. We really do not know how many days we have on this earth exactly, but we can choose how we use the time we have. To number our days, I believe, means to calculate how you live your life. So be careful with how you live, connect and influence others and most of all… how well you love. What you do in your NOW life is everything. If you find yourself stuck in how you are living your NOW life…ask for assistance and get unstuck!

Feeling Overwhelmed? Here are seven practical ways to overcome your overwhelming: 1) Step away from the place where you are feeling overwhelmed. Stepping out from the current situation and even changing your physicality will help you gain clarity, and shift you away from the overwhelmed state of mind. Stepping away empowers you to view your circumstances from a fresh perspective. 2) Discover what is most important. Many times, you can get so caught up in the doing, that you forget why you are doing a certain thing. Focus on doing things that are important to you, instead of lots of unimportant tasks that overwhelm you. 3) Journal-Whenever you are feeling overwhelmed, there is likely a lot going on inside your head. Ideas and thoughts swimming in your mind, cluttering up your mental space. The best thing to do is to dump these thoughts out through writing what’s on your mind. Ask yourself...What is factual? What are feelings? Begin to lean into the facts. 4) Give up control to a higher power (relinquish self reliance and embrace a God dependency). 5) Ask for help and allow help. 6) Create boundaries- setting boundaries creates healthy relationships with self and others. 7) Shut out noise and add in some healthy self-care: at the end of your day do something that slows your mind down. Take good care of yourself. You are worth it!

The holidays are wonderful in many ways, however during this season, you can over extend yourself if not careful, and end up with feelings of being frazzled and emotionally spent afterwards. Let's take a look at four practical ways to assist you in getting back into a good mental and emotional space. 1) Step away from the place where you are currently feeling overwhelmed and simply allow yourself to take a break. Removing yourself from your physicality will help you gain clarity shifting you away from your overwhelmed state of mind. When you come back later you will be able to view your situation from a fresh perspective and with a clearer mindset. 2) Whenever you are feeling overwhelmed there is likely a lot going on inside your head. Ideas and thoughts swimming in your mind clutters up your mental space. Empty out your mental space by dumping out what's on your mind into a journal. Following, refill it with relaxation techniques such as controlled and regulated breathing through various breathing exercises, which is a powerful way to calm your mind and relax your body. 3) Discover what is most essential by focusing on the things that are most important to you and weeding out the least important tasks. Prioritizing things can assist you in reorganizing and getting things more manageable. 4) Take inventory of what got you in this frazzled and emotionally spent space to begin with and create boundaries to eliminate being overwhelmed in the next holiday season.

As a Pastoral Counselor and Life Coach I want to encourage those reading this blog to focus on this truth: Social distancing is necessary, but emotional distancing is not warranted. Communication of what you might be experiencing emotionally is important to share. For a long time, I struggled with hiding in the shadows of shame and with a loss of dignity from my past. Avoidance from reaching out kept me from the knowledge that would promote healing. My journey toward healing came through an integration of theology and psychology. My Christian education allowed me to experience the message of compassion that Jesus shows in Scripture; particularly, when he strikes up a conversation with an anonymous woman, who is coming to the well at the wrong hour of the day with her one hope. He speaks to her in such a way that encourages a response from a woman taught by her culture to be silent and secluded. “Learned helplessness” is also a by-product of low self-esteem caused by oppression. His welcoming presence gave her an opportunity to speak freely with him. My integration of grounded theology and clinical knowledge has empowered me to overcome the overwhelming and to assist individuals, as a professional in the field, to process their experiences. The struggle that suffering causes within, and the work to be done, could be the very thing that leads to liberation, if there is an opportunity to be in the presence of a skilled, compassionate listener. Don't isolate yourself because of your struggle. These are difficult and unprecedented times we are currently living in with the additional pressure of Covid-19 and the necessity of social distancing. This can certainly heighten the struggle to maintain a positive outlook, so utilize outlets for maintaining social and emotional support through media, phone calls, text messages and small group (10 or less) face to face gatherings of family and friends. Also, my counseling office is offering client video sessions through my HIPPA compliant portal. (https://www.patriciasleebos.com/on-line-video-sessions) The struggle is real, but don't emotionally distance yourself if you are struggling, you have options to communicate and share your experiences.